You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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