Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
