I'm eating all of the evidence.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
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I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
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If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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