I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
