If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
