im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
