Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
