you win again, gameday.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
