Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
