Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
