I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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