oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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