I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
