My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There r osticjed everywhere
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
