Got a toothbrush?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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