I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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