I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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