Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
