Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I need a beard to bite.
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