so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
