My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
