I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize