So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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