Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
