Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You are a genius and a whore.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
