we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
