i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
