I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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