Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
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do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
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I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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