tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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