I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
