i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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