Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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