sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The adults are the big ones right?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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