dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There are leaves in my underwear?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
