he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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