remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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