Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
