god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
