Whats the glycemic index on semen?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
