farters have to be the big spoon...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
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I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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