i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
