i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
