well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
