we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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