Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
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Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
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I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
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