Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
