Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
