redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
