stop calling my apartment porn island.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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