There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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