Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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