put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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