We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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