Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
