who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
