my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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