I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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